Lynda and Dave – an appalling meal

Maggi arranged to meet up with her sister and Dave inn Guildford which appeared to be half-way between Pinner and Portsmouth. Lynda booked the Ivy Castle View. We left home just before 11 and had a fairly easy journey to our parking in the Tungate Centre.

We found the two of them in the March Hare opposite the restaurant and had a pre-meal drink. It was nice to see the pair and both were in a jovial move. I thought they had travelled by train so that both of them could drink. Dave was kind enough to buy the only round we had at the very pleasant pub. I wish we had stayed and eaten there.

The Ivy Castle View

A young man greeted us in a bright green jacket and showed us to a decent sized table. In fact all the staff wore either green jackets or waistcoats. Dave and I chose a beer which turned out not to be available. The short beer menu contained a couple of 33 ml bottle options but at a ridiculous price. We both declined. I had a small glass of Maggi and Lynda’s bottle of white wine, but Dave stuck to water. My guess that they had travelled by train in order to drink was now very much misplaced.

I ordered tempura squid with a wasabi mayonnaise. Unfortunately the squid took a lot of chewing, I could hardly taste the wasabi and the tempura batter failed to have the lightness associated with tempura. For the main course I chose the Goose, Turkey and Duck Shepherd’s Pie. I failed, however, to read the list of ingredients under the headline which were Braised lamb and beef with mashed potato, cranberry chutney, sage and orange zest. So nothing of the headline meats. It tasted awful. The mashed potato consisted of a mixture that just about stayed on the filling and almost slid off. The mixture of lamb and beef mince contained more fat than beef so by the time I had eaten half of the contents my mouth felt like a mass of grease. A tiny dollop of cranberry but no flavour of orange zest or sage. A side dish also came with the main course. I selected the Brussels sprouts with chestnuts and cranberries. I hate to think how long the Brussels had been cooking for but the chef had managed to drain all flavour out of them. The dried cranberries and chestnuts had received a similar treatment.

I couldn’t face another course but everyone else picked a dessert. Dave chose the Ivy Snowman (£3.95 supplement), Maggi picked the Chocolate Bombe and Lynda went for the stilton cheese. Dave’s Snowman came with a bit of a flurry with a lid that came off and a little smoke came out. I tasted Maggi’s bombe which was quite nice. I couldn’t have eaten a whole one. Everyone but me had a coffee and then we waited for the bill. The bill came in at £364. I can’t remember a worst value meal inn my life, completely rubbish food at an exorbitant price.